Expert Spotlight: Sarah Louise Ryan
Today's spotlight is all about one of our expert relationship coaches, Sarah Louise Ryan. Sarah is the definition of a woman who lives and breathes confidently. She is a true advocate for love and is passionate about helping other women with their dating and relationship needs.
We caught up with Sarah who gave us some expert tips on how others can build their confidence.
What is something you would tell your younger self to help her confidence?
I would say to my younger self that fear is the path of least resistance and this is what our brain resorts to out of ease. Feeling fear and standing up to it by finding the courage to be bold and brave enough to push through will result in building the muscle of confidence and living the life of our wildest dreams.
How has your confidence grown overtime?
My confidence has grown over time by understanding that we are all flawed and imperfectly perfect and life is meant to be interesting, full of hurdles and lessons to be learnt. Our greatest learnings can, in fact, come from our greatest hurdles and we gain confidence in ourselves by fully showing up as our most authentic selves in any moment, trusting ourselves fully. Personally, my confidence has grown by accepting that people will judge you anyway - so do all of the things, do them wholeheartedly and be your most authentic self, showing up in your uniqueness in the world. Build the business, take the risk, start the relationship, climb the ladder, switch the career, move cities, travel the world. Do it all, learn the lessons and live life fully.
What tips/advice would you give to others to improve their confidence?
Three top tips of advice when it comes to building the muscle of confidence:
Fail faster. We often fear failure in all areas of our lives and we see failure as the ending to everything. But what if rejection in that moment is just a redirection, a course correction to the most confident version of us living the most vibrant lives. When you feel unconfident and uncertain just know that where you are in any moment is exactly where you are supposed to be.
People will judge you anyway - do the things you want to do and push your comfort zone even when you don’t feel like it. It only matters what you think of yourself because in the end, the best relationship you should have should be the one you have with yourself.
The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Thinking about others and the way they live their lives detracts from building a life you choose to live on purpose - stay in your lane.
What is the best way to build up your confidence for a first date?
You should enter a date knowing and feeling that you are worthy and deserving of the most incredible, vibrant and loving romantic connection. You are worthy of the best life yet. Allow yourself to know this about what you are deserving of and then focus not on how you’re showing up but on how the person in front of you is making you feel. Building confidence on a first date comes from shifting focus from yourself to how the person in front of you makes you feel. Tell yourself you are enough and show up being the energy you want to attract on a date.
What makes for a confident relationship?
A relationship is built on trust, love and respect. Those three things prop up the foundations of a solid romantic pairing, all three things need to be present for love to flourish, for a healthy relationship to grow and for two people to feel confidently connected. The loving energy between two only flows fluidly with exceptional communication.