Letting Go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is quite common, however many of us aren't even aware that we have it! It’s the idea that in order to move forward with something, or in order for things to be right, everything has to be perfect. The good news is, this is far from the truth and we can actually accomplish a lot even when all the stars aren’t perfectly aligned. Now more than ever in our current coronavirus reality, it’s important to let go of perfectionism and realize that we can still make progress even with limited resources and much uncertainty.
Perfectionism can present itself in different ways. For many of us, it often shows up at work. Are you currently working on a project and waiting to share it because you don’t feel that it’s “perfect” yet? Are you holding off on asking for a promotion because the timing isn’t ideal right now? Or maybe you aren’t willing to begin job searching because it’s too difficult.
When things feel too complicated, too messy and your ideal roadmap isn’t there… that’s good old perfectionism for you. It’s the thinking that everything needs to be easy and go according to plan or else you can’t move forward. When you have thoughts like this, remind yourself that things are going to be difficult sometimes, and that’s not a reason not to do them.
For many, perfectionism can even creep in when it comes to sleep. Do you feel anxious when you can’t fall asleep at night? Do you then worry that you’ll be tired the next day? The thing is, you can be tired AND still be productive. You can do good work even though you might not feel optimal. As Brené Brown puts it, “I’m a recovering perfectionist and an aspiring “good-enoughist.” Just like not getting a perfect night’s sleep, that project at work doesn’t have to be perfect, but it can still be great. Similarly, you can still move forward and search for that next job even if the timing isn’t right.
Some of us experience perfectionism when it comes to interacting with others. Do you hold back from saying certain things because you aren’t sure if it's the “perfect” thing to say? Or are you trying to be that perfect person who you think others want you to be? The truth is, no one wants to be friends with the “perfect” person. We relate to other people’s flaws and vulnerabilities. It’s what makes us human and what creates a connection between us. Along those same lines, we can’t expect perfection from friends. No one is perfect. We’re all human and just doing the best we can in life.
Life is much more manageable and fulfilling when you can just roll with the imperfections and let things go. However perfectionism shows up for you, be a little more gentle with yourself. Try to remove some of that self imposed pressure and give yourself a break. Remember, you are enough.